Losing is an inevitable and unavoidable part of sports. And losing is ok – it keeps us humble and motivates us to train harder so the next time we compete against a tough team, we’re prepared. Also, if we never lost, sports would become a little boring. Since losing is inevitable, it’s important to know how to best recover from the loss.
The first thing to do is to learn what went wrong – both physically and mentally. A really good way to learn, is to learn from your own mistakes. So turning the loss into a learning experience for you is ideal. Try to identify something that you underperformed on first, and then you can figure out how to fix it. For example, if you missed multiple serves in a game and you feel like that contributed to the loss, then figure out what went wrong with your serve. Was your toss off? Did you rush it? Did the first missed serve psyche you out for your following serves?
Once you’ve identified the issue (not so great serving), the next step is to make a specific plan to improve in that area. A good tip for this step is to actually write out your plan of action – this will keep you organized, on-task, and accountable! Following the example of missed serves, we can make a plan of action on how to improve serving. For this example, it’s best to work on serves a little extra in practice. You can:

  • Attempt getting all your serves over in practice instead of being risky with your serves
  • Try hitting different areas of the court with your serves so they aren’t predictable
  • Once you feel comfortable and consistent, then try more risky serves like in front of the 10-foot line or in the two back corners

This plan of action is a good way to tackle the physical aspects of serving; however, don’t forget to identify ways to improve mentally as well. A common mental mistake that happens is letting mistakes get to your head – like missing one serve and then getting psyched out with the rest of your serves! To help you bounce back from the missed serve, you can try using a “reset button” which is a physical gesture that triggers you to reset your mind. This can be something like tapping your head, clapping your hands, fixing your ponytail, etc. Once you do this gesture consistently after you’ve made a mistake, it’ll start triggering you to forget the mistake and reset during the game.
A good way to gain a little confidence back after having a loss is making a list of all the good things you did in the game and compare them to the list of errors. So let’s say you did miss most of your serves, but let’s say you also got 3 kills, 1 block, and played defense really well. Making the list and comparing the good and bad aspects of your game will visually show you that you did not perform as bad as you may think. Even though the game was a loss and your serving wasn’t great, you still did all those other skills really well.
After you’ve gained some confidence back and have your plan of action written out, the next step is to actually implement the plan you’ve made! This might be the hardest step because it actually requires you do stay committed to your plan and continuously push through even if you experience more setbacks. If you do face more roadblocks, just know that sticking to your plan is going to help you in the long run and if you do get stuck, just look back at your written out plan to get motivated again.
The final thing to remember while recovering from the loss is to keep believing in yourself and your ability to achieve your goals. Even if you write out your plan, stick to it, work hard to follow it, and actually improve in the areas you wanted to, none of that is going to matter if you don’t believe in yourself. Remember that you are capable of achieving your goals and if you already care enough to think about how to improve and make a plan to do so, then you’re already halfway there!
If you follow these steps, hopefully it’ll help you benefit from a loss and you’ll be able to win next time. Ralph Nader is quoted saying, “Your best teacher is your last mistake,” and those words are especially important to remember while recovering from a loss. The loss already happened, and you can’t change it. But you can learn from it and your mistakes, so make an effort to do that instead of being bummed out because of the loss!