In the article, The key to giving and receiving negative feedback, tells a story about a man named Rich that received some negative feedback from his boss. He felt the same feelings that I listed above, but did he dwell on it? For a short period of time, yes. He took in the feedback, left for the day, and started fresh the next morning.
He came into work the next morning early, he locked himself in his office, and he would not leave until everyone else left. This is not the proper way to handle a situation like this.
When feedback is not exactly what we think it is going to be, we automatically identify it as bad. Feedback does not have to hurt. We want the truth from others, but why can we not handle the truth?
The message itself is what hurts the individual, it is how we hear the message. When we feel safe, we want the truth, when we feel unsafe, feedback can crush someone’s feelings.
The first step to avoiding how Rich felt would be feeling psychologically safe with your coaches, teammates, athletic trainers, professors, co-workers, bosses, family, friends, etc. When the athlete feels safe, it will be easier to listen to the feedback, absorb the information, and reflect the content. Do not feel like someone is trying to personally attack you on your weaknesses. Jumping to conclusions will make it worse. Focus on the content and how to fix the problem for next time.
Here are three principles on how to take negative feedback:
1. Take responsibility for your emotions. You can’t make other feel safe. We have to understand that the feedback is for our own good and the person giving the feedback is only trying to help.
2. Offer the feedback. This way, you are prepared for whatever the person is about to tell you. It might be positive or it might be negative. Either way, you asked for the feedback and you will be ready for whatever the person is about to tell you.
3. Feel safe before receiving the feedback. Make sure you are aware what you are asking the individual and who you are asking. Someone you trust and know they only want the best for you. Be curious on growing your personal development and do not be defensive. Remember, feedback is the breakfast of champions!
***Take a look at the article. It has some great examples and goes a little more into detail about the principles.****
Written by:
Sarah Grippi
Director of Basketball Mindset
Reference:
Grenny, J. (2015, August 06). The key to giving and receiving negative feedback. Retrieved November 13, 2018, from https://hbr.org/2015/08/the-key-to-giving-and-receiving-negative-feedback